All Hallows Eve

Since we don't know a lot of people in the trailer park and don't trust Damon and Ashton trick-or-treating there, we decided to join Stacie, Ammon and family for their Halloween celebrations. Friday night we went to their ward party, ate lots of yummy soup and chili and desserts, and participated in their trunk-or-treat. Then Damon went through their mini spook ally several times in a row. We had a lot of fun. Stacie and Ammon are a part of the ward activities comity and they did a great job.

Then, Saturday we went trick-or-treating in my parents neighborhood. The kids were practically bouncing from one house to the next. I just kept thinking, "Did I have that much energy? What happened to it?" It's a mystery. Hopefully, having two boys means their energy will rub off on me---and not the opposite. J

 

 

Keep on Smiling

Written October 22^nd

Despite our current struggles and recent sorrow, we continue to smile daily. There are so many things to be grateful for, especially our family, it's hard to be sullen for any length of time. Jogging several times a week has become a family ritual. Damon decided a couple weeks ago that he would rather jog with me than ride his bike, and he's been running with us ever since. I've been impressed with his endurance. Adam runs about a ten minute mile when he's not pushing himself and Damon can keep up pretty well; however, Adam goes just fast enough that Damon has no time to dawdle. If he does, he has to push himself pretty hard to catch up. With me, Damon can easily keep up. Usually he runs up ahead of me, dawdles until I catch up with him, then runs ahead again. But, a lot of times he'll just stay with me and we talk and hold hands as we go. It is such a joy to have him interested in spending time with me, although his energy is a constant reminder of what I lack. Yesterday, while we were out, he pulled back behind me for a second. When he came up beside me he said, "Mommy, when I was looking at you from behind, you looked like you were going too-too-too-too slow." I could only laugh, agree with him and say, "You're probably right, but at least I'm still jogging, right?" To which he promptly agreed. Then, not two minutes later, he pulled into the lead and called back to me, "Mommy, keep up with me, 'kay?" I honestly tried, but knew I wouldn't make it as far as I wanted to go at that speed. So, I told him sorry, but I needed to go at my own pace. Of course he asked "why?" to which I explained that I was carrying 5 Damon's and he only had to carry one, so I just couldn't go as fast as him. Although rather shocked, he understood what I was explaining and the discussion about our difference in size ended. I wish I could say I was exaggerating for the benefit of my point, but I wasn't and now I hope I don't regret sharing that disturbing detail about myself.

We were half-way done when the rain began and by the time we were done with the running portion of our outing (at out half-way point), it was pouring. Damon artfully pointed out how much the rain was making him sweat and I just had to laugh cause he was just full of interesting comments that morning. He also told me that he loved me so-so-so-so much which made him think about what Adam had told him. Damon informed that "Daddy says when you say things lots of times, it makes people's brains turn off." Of course I laughed at that too and told him that that had some truth to it, but I was always glad to hear him say, "I love you." We waited under a bridge until Adam and Ashton met up with us. Then I waited with the kids while Adam jumped the RV park fence and brought the car to pick us up. Everyday there are so many things to smile about and be grateful. I am continually striving to let them outshine the challenges life sends our way.

Ashton is learning and growing so quickly. He's beginning to repeat words after us, and he's even understanding what they mean. Last week, we decided it was time to expect him to ask nicely for the things he needed or wanted. I honestly was just tired of him screaming whenever he wanted something. So, after only a couple days of stubbornly expecting him to say please before his request was granted, he caught on. Now he says please all the time. The other morning he woke up early, and out of the dark I could hear him saying, "-ease, baba. –e-e-e-ase, BABA! –E-E-E-E-ASE-BABA!" I couldn't refuse it, but now he says please whenever he wants anything and half the time I don't know what he's asking please about. I hope he doesn't give up one of the times cause his poor mother wasn't blessed with ESP. It's so much fun, though, to be a part of his learning and growing process. Everyday he surprises up with something new from learning to tease to saying a new word. In our sometimes mundane and cramped existence in this trailer, the sure do well to liven things up and I am so grateful to have them in our lives.

Yes, we are very-very-very-very blessed.

Peter James Smith

Written October 21^st

One of the challenges of Adam being a teacher is as we grow close to many of the students, we feel keenly for them in their various struggles. I suppose the thought that we may have to mourn the death of one of them never occurred to us. Last Friday, we got an interesting text from a couple kids from Beaver, "To our dear friend Peter Smith. We will all love you and miss you! Please pass this around. Our prayers are with you and your family! R.I.P" At first we thought it was just a morbid announcement that he had left on his mission, but it seemed a little off and the RIP at the end was disturbing. So, we inquired further and found out that Peter had been in an ATV accident earlier that day and hadn't made it.

We were shocked. Absolutely and utterly shocked. We were both very fond of Peter. Every year he'd participated in the musicals, the last two having major roles. He'd also been in the advanced choir last year as a senior. So, we had many opportunities to get-to-know him. He was so full of life and smiles. He was quirky and devoted and kind. He is, without a doubt, one of the best kids we've met so far. It still doesn't seem real that he's passed away. I called Autumn and Emily after I found out and we cried together, Adam and I talked about him and I cried again, and then again, and several times over. It's just so hard to comprehend it, but if anyone was prepared to be a missionary on the other side of the veil, he was. Two days before the accident he received his mission call to Independence Missouri. Just hours before he died he wrote the acceptance to his call, "I will gladly accept this call to serve…I am looking forward to serving the Lord for the next two years and to bring souls to baptism. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I will try to serve my best at all times, in all things, and in all places."

I went to his "farewell" on Wednesday to represent our family. Peter's family was incredible. Most of them were busy comforting others and testifying of their faith. I didn't want to go to the viewing, I wasn't going to, but Emily talked me into going as her moral support. He was the first person I've known who died in the prime of his life. I wanted to remember him as he really was, but as I stood staring at his lifeless body, I didn't feel anything. It was only a glove, THAT wasn't Peter. I still remembered him as he was. Then I had an overwhelming assurance that it really wasn't Peter. His spirit was still alive and well, and I knew without doubts that he was in the company of angels and holy beings, that he wasn't alone and that he still existed in a different sphere. The only sadness I felt then was for the loss of his energetic and happy presence. What a support and light he was to those around him!

A few things stood out to me from the service. His younger brother, Jacob, was with him on the mountain that fateful afternoon. Jacob read the first verse of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and said that is what had happened to him. I thought that was interesting and wondered what he meant by it. Later, he clarified and said he felt Peter's spirit leave him to go comfort the rest of his family and in his place the Savior came to sit with Jacob on the mountain. He also said, "Peter thought he was preparing for his mission, but what he was really doing was preparing me for mine." I am amazed at their thick bond of brotherhood and hope Jacob will continue to be strong in the tough months and even years ahead. Peter's family feels that he has been called to be a missionary beyond the veil. Despite the fact that his call was to Independence MO, his patriarchal blessing said he would be called to a foreign land to speak a new tongue and those who he pulled from the depths would praise his name. Elder Dane O. Leavitt, an area authority, also spoke. He said that he was prompted to tell us several things, one of them was reading D&C 138:30, "But behold, from among the righteous, he organized his forces and appointed messengers, clothed with power and authority, and commissioned them to go forth and carry the light of the gospel to them that were in darkness, even to all the spirits of men; and thus was the gospel preached to the dead." I was grateful that he confirmed the family's feeling regarding Peter's current state. It is such a blessing to know that Heavenly Father will send us comfort in any way he can.

I'm honored to have known such a valiant son of God. It sounds very cliché, but it is very true. He enriched my life during our brief acquaintance and touched the lives of countless others. I'm full of gratitude for the knowledge of the great Plan of Salvation, to know that Peter is still Peter and he hasn't disappeared into some dark void, and that he will continue to touch the hearts of whomever he comes in contact. Bless you Peter, thank you for your example—for being you, and we love you! RIP

Peter James Smith
September 5, 1991-October 15, 2010

Damon’s Birthday

D

Damon understood the power of being the "birthday boy" for the first time. He literally sprang out of bed and bounded up the two stair to our room the instant he awoke singing, "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!" He was so happy that his big day arrived, he couldn't hardly stop giggling. Then, the term "for my birthday" promptly became a large part of his vocabulary throughout the day. "I'm gonna get a lot of presents for my birthday." "I want to get a happy meal for my birthday." "Are they coming for my birthday," and on and on and on went the phrase. Soon it became clear he expected every whim to be fulfilled just because it was his birthday. We had to keep him grounded a little bit, reminding him that gratitude was the most important thing—even more important than what he got or what we did. I'm not sure how much of it sunk in, but I think he soaked in a little bit of the lesson.

On Friday morning, while Damon was still at school, I tried to make the requested cake (Chocolate with cherry filling). Time was getting short by the time I was ready to put it in the oven, and it didn't fit. There wasn't enough time to make two round cakes, I only had one pan and couldn't fit two in at a time anyway. So, I had to pour it into a smaller pan and hope for it to cook all the way through. Despite the fact the oven tends to cook hot, I had to leave the cake in longer than the directions say. Even then, it was still a little wobbly. I crossed my fingers and hoped that it would firm up as it cooled. Well, two hours later it was still really gooey, so I called my mom on the way up there and told her the cake hadn't turned out. Thankfully, she didn't graciously offered to make a cake and we were saved from having to buy one.

Stacie and her family joined us for pizza, cake, and a movie at the discount theaters near my parents home. Damon was all smiles. He loved his presents—a book on dinosaurs with realistic pop-out pictures, a new bike helmet and a fancy bike. He only had two things to open and I was really proud of him for being happy with what he got and not expecting more. Of course he had to ask grandma Hinton if they only had one present for him, but he wasn't too rude about, just enough that we needed to remind him about being grateful.

First Steps

Ashton began walking a week ago last Sunday (on August 29^th), at almost exactly 14 months old. He was walking before, but it was really sporadic and he'd only take a couple steps from here to there when he was distracted. No amount of bribery or beckoning could convince him to step out on his own. He learned a couple months ago that he was fastest if he crawled on hands and toes, so he would promptly get down on all fours and rush to us or whatever his destination. But now, he tentatively walks in a step-pause-step-pause fashion toward us with a big smile on his face. He definitely knows he's doing something really special and he loves the attention. I just can't believe it's taken him this long to start walking and, furthermore, that his quickest mode of transportation is still the bear crawl (or the Mogley as my sister Stacie has coined it). Damon began walking at ten months and he practically started running immediately thereafter. One thing I've definitely learned during my short term as a mother is that kids will learn and develop at their own pace and no amount of convincing, tricking, or bribery will change when they're ready. With Ashton, we'd make funny faces, talk to him in high-pitched voices, and even try to dupe him into taking a step, but all he would do was lift his legs off the ground and do his best to wriggle to a crawling position on the floor. Man, we've got some stubborn kids!

Then, a week ago Wednesday, Damon had his first day of school. He was all smiles and excitement and hardly said bye to me before he stepped through his classroom door. He's been anxiously waiting his chance at being an official kindergartener for over a year. It was funny, for two nights before he started, he nearly giggled himself to sleep thinking how exciting it was that he would be starting school soon. And, of course, now all I hear when I pick him up is "Mrs. Packer this and Mrs. Packer that—" and "Me and Aiden this and me and Aiden that—" Aiden's his new close friend and they've been playing Super Mario at recess every day since school began, he's also been asking if Aiden could come play at our house since school began. I've asked Aiden and his mom to the park for Damon's birthday, I'm sure he'll love that.

Every morning, Damon gets up at 6:30 in order to be ready in time to ride with Adam to school. He's excited each morning and gets up eager to be off. I love seeing how handsome and grown up he looks in his uniform, which he thinks is really great like it makes school even more special for him. I just love to see his excitement for life; and while I'm sad to see him growing so big, I'm also excited to experience life with his. It's probably because of this that I got more emotional in my excitement for him than sad to being growing out of a stage with him—I made it through dropping him off for his first day without even dropping a tear. What can I say, this motherhood thing is great. It's exciting, emotion, and always different. I LOVE IT!!!

We've been close quarters the last few weeks. Since we've moved into the fifth wheel, I've learned that it really doesn't take much to make the kids happy and we can be resilient when we need to be. Damon really missed his friends at first, but now that he's started school, he seems content to just spend his afternoons with Ashton and I. He is such a good kid, he's trying just as hard to make the best of our situation as Adam and I are. And, he is so loving toward Ashton, always willing to guide him out of trouble and play with him when Ashton gets bored. He truly has a special spirit. Ashton, on the other hand, doesn't seem to notice much of a difference. He simply acts happy to have more things to climb on and he does get frustrated once in a while when I don't let him go play on the grass. Unfortunately, we only have about a 10'X35' patch of grass outside our door which happens to be sandwiched between two roads; which, of course, is not very child-friendly. Especially considering how fast Ashton is and the fact that he has absolutely no comprehension of the danger. Thankfully there are lots of parks and stores and we can go swimming at the park pool until the weather gets too cold. This is not a long-term arrangement, but at least we're together and we're having fun devoting this extra time to each other.

Yes, I am very, very blessed.

 

Our Summer @ a Glance

1. Adam has a hernia repair.
   
2. I work my tail off building raised beds out of salvaged wood, freeze my plants twice because I forgot that I had taken them out to air, and manage to get my garden in the ground just in time to hopefully get some produce by the time the autumn frost hits.
   
3. Don and Ada Hinton Family Reunion
   
   1. Dustin's reception
      
      1. Hectic, lots of visiting and food, and a late night.
         
      2. Need I say more?
         
   2. Sleeping arrangements a little tight considering two more families have been established since the last reunion; but we worked things out and all seemed to rest well.
      
   3. Damon and McKenzie once again hit it off. They decide they maybe could get married when they grow up.
      
      1. We reminisce about having crushes on our cousins when we were little.
         
      2. Decide that perhaps we should talk to the kids about "kissing cousins" in the near future.
         
4. We work like crazy to finish all the house improvements we've started.
   
5. Adam is offered a job at Lincoln Academy in Pleasant Grove, UT.
   
   1. Now we at least know where we are going.
      
   2. Damon gets to attend Kindergarten at Lincoln Academy. He starts in September.
      
6. We start actively trying to sale our house with no luck.
   
7. Lavar Hinton Family Reunion in Flagstaff, AZ
   
   1. Adam, the kids, and I go on a hike. Ashton enjoys the trip on our backs. Damon loves every minute and is still bouncing when we finish.
      
   2. Have lots of fun with the family. Damon meets Lizzie and now feels she might be a good prospect for marriage, too.
      
   3. Sean and Micole's daughter, Hadley, gets lost in the woods and Adam and I with Ashton on my back set out to help find her. We don't have much luck but she is found by a couple and brought to the fire station.
      
8. Damon goes fishing with Emily and Autumn.
   
9. We are still working to finish our home improvements. Adam finally puts in the grass in the backyard—of course too late for us to enjoy it, but at least it's done.
   
10. We put on a Patriotic fireside. It goes really well, and there are lots of tears.
    
    1. For the first time I get so emotional, I need help finishing a song. Adam sings with me.
       
    2. The spirit is there and I keep thinking how lucky I am to know such good kids.
       
11. We advertise the house for rent, get no calls till almost a month later.
    
12. We throw a late-night going away party for Damon.
    
    1. All his friends and the neighborhood kids come.
       
    2. We play games, eat pizza, play the wii, watch a movie on our front lawn, and roast smores.
       
13. Adam and I have a party with my voice students.
    
    1. We eat, sing crazy karaoke, and watch Little Shop of Horror
       
    2. Have a teary goodbye.
       
    3. Pack up and move the first week of August. The ward helps a tons to load us in the moving trailer.
       
    4. We're exhausted and burned out, but still have a lot to do. Make a couple more trips home to finish everything.
       
    5. We stay at Ammon's family cabin in Bear Lake for the weekend.
       
    6. Damon and especially Ashton have a blast in the sand.
       
    7. Damon, Ashton and I go out on the boat.
       
       1. Ashton spends his time staring at the water over the edge of the boat.
          
       2. Damon is very brave and goes out on the tube.
          
       3. I am brave, too, and also ride the tube.
          
       4. Despite missing Adam, we all have a lot of fun.
          
    8. Adam Starts work; and, shortly after, school begins. He has high hopes that this will be a much more positive experience.
       
    9. Get a couple prospective renters/buyers for our home. After hopeful negotiations we find that neither was ever actually seriously considering our home.
       
    10. We move into my Parent's fifth wheel until we find renters/buyers for the house.
        
    11. We're parked at Eastbay RV Park and are enjoying the swimming pool and the convenience of being close to stores.
        
    12. Damon goes stir-crazy waiting for kindergarten to begin while being cooped up in the trailer.
        
    13. We take advantage of the various parks in the area.
        
    14. Ashton handles the move much better than Damon. Damon grieves the loss of his friends and his freedom.
        
        1. I keep praying that we will take care of the house soon so we can move into a place where we can put down some roots.
           
        2. Part of me is really enjoying Utah Valley and thinks this might be a good place to settle while another part of me feels like we still might be in transition.
           

Through it all, the good and the bad, I continue to see blessings being poured down from Heaven. Naturally a big planner, I'm learning to be a little more patient and to have a little more faith. I just hope to be able to feel the promptings of the spirit more clearly and to better enjoy the journey. For I know Heavenly Father loves us, He wants us to be happy, and he will help us to end in a place where we may find fulfillment, happiness, safety, and joy.

DC Trip cont...

On Friday morning, we went on a self-guided tour through the White House. Nikki recomended that we ask the guards questions. Some of them were very tight-lipped, but there were a couple who seemed to genuinely enjoy telling trivia from their respective rooms.

It's amazing to be in a place where men who have effected the history of the whole world have walked and planned and met together. I understand it's just a stack of marble, but it also represents the country that has fought for freedom and justice for over two-hundred years.

Later that day, Adam and I went to Arlington. It is such a special place. It was a spiritual experience just being there. It was a humbling experience to witness the graves of so many men who have given the ultimate sacrefice in order to ensure the right for all men  and women to be happy. Almost every visitor walks past the seemingly endless rows of white tombstones in reverent silence. In a time when respect is rare, patrons pass through Arlington in order to honor the good men and women buried there. The grounds are kept beautiful and despite the heat of summer, we enjoyed our time walking the grounds.

The photo above depicts a stature comemorating Field Marshal Sir John Dill who was a British Commander in both WWI and WWII. He served in Washington for a large part of his life and was instrumental in the British-American alliance. He developed such a fondness for his work with America that he requested special permission to be buried in Arlington Cemetery, and he was loved by many. A witness at his funeral said, "I have never seen so many men so visibly shaken by sadness."

At the top of Arlington's hill is General Lee's house. Poor Adam wasn't feeling very well that day and I dragged him all the way up to the mansion. He was a good sport, though, but he paid for it later on and I felt bad about my insensitivity. There was just so much I wanted to see that I didn't pause long enough to realize Adam was dragging. The feature that stood most out to me in regard to the mansion was the slave quarters. I kept looking at it and just couldn't get myself to believe that people had actually been kept as slaves in that rundown building. I simply cannot comprehend the reality of it. It makes me so sad, I could almost feel my chest squeezing while I stood in that building reading about the poor people who kept the household running.                                                                             

I kept thinking how hard it must have been for General Lee. A place he and his family had once called home was turned into a memorial for the lives that had been taken under his direction--an eternal reminder of the ugliness of war. It must have been a high price to pay for his betrayal of the North. Perhaps the estate itself wasn't unbearable, but turning into a place to rest for the casualties of a war he help perpetuate must have been a terrible slap in the face.